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For eleven years I begged my obstinate elderly father to allow a caregiver to help him with my ailing mother, but after 55 years of loving her, he adamantly insisted on taking care of her himself. Every caregiver I hired to help him sighed in exasperation, "Jacqueline, I just can't work with your father--his temper is impossible to handle. I don't think you'll be able to get him to accept help until he's on his knees himself."My father had always been 90 percent wonderful, but boy-oh-boy, that raging temper was a doozy. He?d never turned his temper on me before, but then again, I'd never gone against his wishes either. When my mother nearly died from his inability to care for her, I had to step in and risk his wrath to save her life--having no idea that in the process it would nearly cost me my own.JEKYLL & HYDEI spent three months nursing my mother back to relative "health", while my father, who was telling me he loved me one minute, would get mad about some trivial thing, call me nasty names and throw me out of the house the next. I was stunned to see him get so upset over the most ridiculous things, even running the washing machine could cause a tizzy, and there was no way to reason with him. It was so heart wrenching to have my once-adoring father turn against me.I immediately took him to his doctor and was astonished that he could act completely normal when he needed to. I couldn't believe it when the doctor looked at me like I was the crazy one. She didn?t even take me seriously when I reported that my father nearly electrocuted my mother and that he nearly burned the house down. Much later I found out that he?d instructed her not to listen to anything I said, because all I wanted was his money. (Boy do I wish he had some.)Then things got serious. My father had never laid a hand on me my whole life, but one day he nearly choked me to death with his bare hands for adding HBO to his cable package, even though he had eagerly consented to it just a few days before. Terrified and devastated, I frantically called the police who took him to a psychiatric hospital for evaluation. I was so stunned when they quickly released him, saying they couldn't find anything wrong with him. Similar horrifying incidents occurred four times.CATCH 22I couldn't leave my father alone with my mother, because she'd surely die from his inability to care for her. I couldn't get the doctors to believe me, because he was always so darling and competent in front of them. I couldn't get medication to calm him, and even when I did, he refused to take it and flushed it down the toilet. I couldn't get him to accept a caregiver, and even when I did, no one would put up with him for very long. I couldn't place my mother in a nursing home--he'd just take her out. I couldn't put him in a home--he didn't qualify. They both refused any mention of assisted living, and legally I couldn't force them. I became trapped at my parents' home for nearly a year trying to solve the endless crisis, crying rivers daily--and infuriated with an unsympathetic medical system that wasn't helping me appropriately.WHAT?S WRONG?You don't need to have a doctorate to know something is wrong, but you do need a doctor who can diagnose and treat it properly. Finally, I stumbled upon a compassionate geriatric dementia specialist who performed a battery of blood, neurological and memory tests, along with P.E.T. scans. 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Instead of logic and reason--I used distraction, redirection and reminiscence. Instead of arguing--I validated their feelings.Finally, I was able to get my father to accept a caregiver (he?d alienated 40), and with the use of Adult Day Health Care five days a week for them, and a weekly support group for me, everything started to fall into place. It was so wonderful to once again hear my father say, ?We love you so much, sweetheart.?Then, after several more years of loving each other?my parents passed, just a few months apart, still living in their own home. Even though being responsible for every aspect of their last years was the hardest thing I have ever done--I am proud to say I gave them the best end-of-life I possibly could.AHHH HINDSIGHT--IT'S ALWAYS 20/20What is so shocking is that none of the many professionals who treated my parents that first year ever discussed the possibility of Alzheimer?s Disease with me. 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KABUL (Reuters) ?C Afghan forces should be ready to take over security in Afghanistan in five years, President Hamid Karzai said at his inauguration Thursday, and pledged to tackle graft which has left his reputation in tatters.Karzai was sworn in as Washington decides whether to send tens of thousands more troops to fight an increasingly unpopular war. U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was among foreign officials at the ceremony.Karzai, 51, also called for a "loya jirga," a traditional grand assembly, which under Afghanistan's constitution can take precedence over all government institutions, including the presidency itself.His inauguration for his second five-year term came against the backdrop of a rising Taliban insurgency, doubts over his legitimacy after an election tainted by fraud, and complaints his government is riddled with corruption and mismanagement."We are determined that by the next five years, Afghan forces are capable of taking the lead in ensuring security and stability across the country," Karzai said.He said Afghanistan's security forces should be able to assume responsibility of unstable areas in three years.U.S. officials say Afghan forces must be able to take over security across the country before foreign troops can leave. There are nearly 110,000 foreign nike shoes (http://www.offerdunks.com) in Afghanistan, including 68,000 Americans, more than half arriving this year.Despite an announcement this week that Afghanistan would set up an anti-corruption unit, Clinton, in her first visit as secretary of state, earlier criticized Karzai for not taking enough measures to combat graft."They've done some work on that, but in our view, not nearly enough to demonstrate a seriousness of purpose to tackle corruption," she told reporters en route to Kabul Wednesday."VERY DANGEROUS ISSUE"Clinton said Washington would support the new government but expected serious results in building an "accountable, transparent government."Karzai said corruption was a "a very dangerous timberland boots[url]" and pledged to appoint competent and professional ministers.A decision by U.S. President Barack Obama on whether to send up to 40,000 troops to combat a resurgent Taliban partly depends on whether Karzai can be trusted to press ahead with reforms. Obama said Wednesday he sought to bring the conflict to an end before he leaves office.A U.N.-backed probe found that nearly a third of votes for Karzai in the August 20 election were fake.While Karzai had been expected to win anyway, the extent of the fraud in his favor severely damaged his credibility at home and among Western and other nations with troops fighting to support his government.He has since faced tough pressure from Western leaders to clamp down on widespread corruption and replace former guerrilla leaders and cronies with able technocrats in his new government.STREETS DESERTEDKarzai had been set to take on former foreign minister Abdullah Abdullah in a November 7 run-off before his opponent withdrew, citing more fraud fears. Despite pressure from the West for a power-sharing deal, Abdullah has ruled out joining Karzai."I have no [url=http://www.offerdunks.com]nike sb (http://www.sale-boots.com) of taking part in Karzai's government," Abdullah told Afghanistan's Tolo television on Thursday.Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari, the most prominent foreign leader at the ceremony, watched Karzai's inauguration with foreign ministers from Britain, France and Turkey.Kabul's streets were deserted early Thursday with armored vehicles blocking off major roads. Security officers even stopped people from walking on the streets.The government declared Thursday a holiday and reporters were barred from attending the swearing-in ceremony.Karzai was installed by the United States and its Afghan allies in 2001. Puma shoes (http://www.pickpuma.com) won a full term in the country's first democratic presidential election in 2004.(Additional reporting by Jonathon Burch, Peter Graff and Yousuf Azimy; Editing by Paul Tait)

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And then there were four.The 12-team field vying for the 2009 Central Coast Section field hockey championship began the week with a healthy dozen and ended with just four teams still alive.Top-seeded Los Gatos, the defending CCS champion after last season's triumph over Saratoga in the finals, moved on to the semifinals after dispatching pesky Cupertino 3-1 in the final quarterfinal bout Saturday afternoon at Del Mar High School in San Jose.No. 5-seeded Gilroy began the four-pack of CCS playoff fun with a 3-1 victory over No. 4 Leigh.Gilroy, 20-0 this season, will meet up with Los Gatos, 19-0-1 overall, in the semifinals on Nov. 17, 7:45 p.m., at St. Francis in Mountain View.In the second quarterfinal game, Homestead fell 1-0 to Archbishop Mitty. The Monarchs (15-4-1), the No. 2 seed, will play rival Presentation (11-3-1) in the first semifinal game on Tuesday at 6 p.m. at St. Francis.Presentation defeated Saratoga 3-0 in the quarters.After winning a CCS crown in his 17th year of coaching, Los Gatos head coach Henry Reyes has another talented group of players with their eyes set on another title.All the nike air max (http://www.offerdunks.com) weapons were firing Saturday against Cupertino.Junior Noel Painter, one of two junior captains on this year's team along with Natalie Gibbens, fired in the first goal of the day four minutes into the match.Another junior, Madeline Herder, extended the Cats' advantage to two late in theAdvertisementfirst half.The two schools also met last season in the quarterfinals with Cupertino falling 1-0, but giving the eventual champions everything they could handle."We had a much better showing today than we did against them last year in this game," Reyes said. "We had long stretches today of dominant pressure in their zone. We hadn't played here on this surface before. The girls did a nice job of adapting to the surface." Cupertino forwards Jaclyn Ballin, Caley Seaton and Valerie Labrie had a tough time getting things going in the first half.Bogged down by the Los Gatos defensive pressure, quarterbacked by Gibbens at the point, Cupertino fended off Los Gatos offensive rushes for the majority of the opening 30 minutes.Led by first year head coach Jill Borges, Cupertino didn't go away quietly in the second half.Junior goalie Nicolette Goularte had nine saves at the half, stoning Cats snipers Caitlyn Denham and Taylor Comeau late in the first half to keep the score within reach.Off a short corner late in the second half, Cupertino found some breathing room and pushed its way into the scoring column.Senior Allyson Velasquez rocked a big slap shot past the Los Gatos net minder and cut the lead in half.Los Gatos quickly called a timeout, leading 2-1 with a little over four minutes left to play."Air jordans (http://www.mynikejordan.com) think we were trying to just hold on and win the match 2-1 when we should have just continued to play our game," Reyes said. "I told the girls to keep attacking and they responded." After a Cupertino rush was sent away, Los Gatos sealed the win with goal No. 3 in the final minute of play.Cupertino, who came into the draw seeded ninth, defeated Del Mar 1-0 in the opening round.Senior defender Devynn Polochak scored the goal for the Pioneers in the win.Cupertino finishes the year with a 9-4-3 record overall and the Dons ended up 11-4.Before Los Gatos took to the field to open defense of its 2008 crown, Presentation and Saratoga met up in a winner-take-all rubber match.The team's split two regular season meetings held on back-to-back days in early November, but Saturday's quarterfinal was controlled by the Panthers.Presentation scored goals in the first two minutes of both halves en route to a convincing 3-0 win.Playing at Del Mar, the Homestead squad wasn't fazed by the new environment. Without a field all year long, the Mustangs played every game in`09 on the road.Homestead lost 1-0 to Mitty, but did knock out perennial field hockey power St. Francis 3-2 in round one on Thursday night."For a school that lost their field, got a new coach and had to deal with all that change, I would say air force ones (http://www.offerdunks.com) had a great season," first year Homestead coach Donna Keith said. "I'm very proud of them." Senior Kiran Mazloom scored twice and senior Kelly Hamilton knocked in one more in the 3-2 Homestead win over the Lancers.

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